Fuck I’m so lonely, sitting here thinking about second chances. Ha. Not even second chances 5^th chances maybe 31^st chances. Wish I could hug you one more time, kiss you, feel you. Hold you and never let you go, tell you that somehow after so long a part of me still misses you. Still loves you.

What is love anyways, I’m not sure but I just wish I was sitting next to you. I just need one more chance. God just give me one more chance I promise ill make it right I promise I won’t be a mess anymore... 

Everything has fallen apart. I got no one. But I want you back. I don’t even know if it is because I feel alone, if it’s because I just want your company. I don’t know what it is. I just know. I need you so badly. Wish I could just send you this, wish you could understand but you would never understand you’re probably gonna think I’m crazy after more than 2 years I’m still looking for you? What kind of mess is that?

I miss everything, I miss having you I miss just being around you. I miss holding you I miss you holding me, I miss the little things I miss your face, I miss your smile, I miss your jokes and how you used to get mad, I miss your bed I miss your touch. I crave your touch. Fuck I don’t need anything else I just want to feel you one last time. But how? I’m not brave enough to actually look for you, what if you’re still with… I can’t even say it. I get drunk of jealousy.

God, I could just write so much about you.  There are so many things I haven’t told you, I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way I want you to know them I think I never got the chance to say them because I thought we were gonna last forever I thought we had plenty of time. I just thought. And now all I do is think... of all the thing I’ve done wrong I failed you so many times but still forgive me... I don’t deserve you. But you still hurt me like no one before I dont’ know if I will ever be able to get over my broken  heart I don’t know if already did, I don’t know.

All I know is that I need you here. I need you by my side; I need you to tell me it’s going to be alright.